I was recently thinking about this idea when I heard the phrase, “Thanks for everything.” Maybe I heard myself saying it. It is one I use too often. I say too often because what does it really mean?

Thanks for all the goodness in my life? Thanks for everything you’ve ever done for me? Thanks for all the kind acts I can’t bother to list right now? I know I appreciate you, but I can’t remember the specific reason, so thanks?

Granted, this is being a bit facetious. We know that isn’t how we mean it, and they know that isn’t how we mean it. Typically, I say it because I’m trying to convey my inability to describe how thankful I am, that there are just too many kindnesses to cover in a short “thanks”. Maybe instead of falling back on this generalization, though, I could explore some more appropriate way to express my appreciation.

What would that look like?

I’m not entirely sure, but I’m guessing it would take some work, perhaps a little more forethought. Usually I find myself falling back on “thanks for everything” when someone who has been helpful is leaving (or I’m leaving them). I feel like I can’t communicate my gratitude in the quick goodbye that is coming. But those goodbyes rarely come as a surprise.

Maybe I could write a little note with more detail about how much I appreciate this person, then pass it off to them during the goodbye, like the inconspicuous exchange of a tip I always admire in the movies (personally, I never pull it off).

Maybe I could skip the “everything” and mention a few specifics I am especially thankful for. Wouldn’t it be better to say, “Thanks for bringing the spinach dip and playing with the dog,” even if the person also brought chips and helped wash dishes? Are they going to be offended that you didn’t provide a complete list of their good deeds? Or are they more likely to appreciate that you noticed some of their contributions?

The problem with the “everything” is that you could say it to “everyone”. It is so general that it means nothing. By making your thanks specific, you make it personal. Maybe you don’t cover it all, but you do make it clear that this thank you is for them.

By trying to ensure that we leave nothing out, the catch-all “thanks for everything” mostly ensures that we leave nothing in. At least nothing memorable.

I could be nit-picking my gratitude, of course. Certainly a vague thank you is better than none at all. It feels like something worth experimenting with anyway.

What do you think? What kind of thank you is your default? What kind do you prefer from others? Is this a case for generalization over specificity?

Make Something

I finished building Melanie’s website this week, and I feel pretty good about it even though it could still use some work. I suggest you pay Melanie a visit, not because the site is great but because the content is. Be careful though; Melanie’s writing will hit you in your feeling place, hard.

Learn Something

I learned the world “brutiful” this week. It’s a portmanteau Glennon Doyle Melton uses to describe those moments in life that are both beautiful and brutal. I heard it in a fantastic interview on the The One You Feed podcast, which I cannot get enough of lately. Just one of many takeaways from their discussion: the way out of almost any funk is Art and Service.

Karate Chop Something

I metaphorically karate chopped the front yard this weekend. It finally stopped raining long enough to cut it, and instead of putting it off for another weekend, I just got it done. That’s a small thing, but it’s a big victory for me since I almost always wait too long to cut the grass.

Try Something New

Hmm. This might be my failure for the week. I didn’t intentionally set out to try something new, and I think that oversight has caught up to me. Instead of claiming that the typing experiment should count here, I’m just gonna acknowledge that I need to improve. 

Be Nice to Someone

I forwarded a podcast I really enjoyed to a few people I thought would appreciate it (the same one I mentioned above). And that is actually all I can think of at the moment, which means I need to work on this area in the coming week too, or I need to do a better job of keeping track. 

Overall, I did alright, but I need to be more intentional about this. Also, I should probably be aiming to practice the Five Karate Moves to Success everyday, not just per week.

Good luck on your own forthcoming week.

Make Something

In addition to the writing I did this week, Theo and I also made some decent artwork. We painted lines and circles and various other shapes with his watercolors, and I made a number of Play-Doh animals, including a shark, a sheep, and a horse. I think I could be a little more intentional with my making next week.

Learn Something

I listen to many podcasts during my commute and while doing other stuff that doesn’t require much thinking (mowing, dishes, etc.), so I come across new information all the time. In retrospect, one podcast that stands out to me is the Freakonmics episode, This Idea Must Die. Rather than offer some interesting , new idea, Steven Dubner asked a bunch of experts what particular idea they thought needed to be retired. Among some of the more compelling were our conception of the universe (instead of a multiverse), the idea that “the market” is good or bad, and the belief that atheism is a prerequisite for scientific inquiry. One of my favorites was Alan Alda’s suggestion that we stop thinking that something has to be right or wrong, true or false, by which he meant retiring “the idea that something is either true or false for all time and in all respects.” My typical response to whether or not a statement is true is, “it depends,” which can be frustrating for whomever I’m in conversation with. But so much depends on the particular situation and person that I hate to limit my perspective when I can avoid it.

Karate-chop Something

I don’t think I excelled in this area this week. I didn’t literally karate-chop anything, and I can’t say that I totally crushed anything figuratively either. Another area for improvement.

Try Something New

I went to a dealership for the first time this week, at least for the first time with the intention of buying a vehicle. Thus far, I have managed to buy my rides from individuals (or have them gifted to me). It was a pretty strange experience on the whole, complicated by Theo’s presence and the fact that we weren’t really excited about getting a minivan. Not that I have a problem with minivans, but Melanie and I both felt somewhat forced into the situation because she’s having twins. So, it wasn’t an expense we had necessarily foreseen. I don’t actually want to go into all the details here, but I will say that we managed to find a great deal online, and we feel fortunate that we have a reliable ride for the family.

Overall, it was a positive experience. It was also one that I don’t think you can really prepare for that well just by reading about it. I’ve seen plenty of information about working with salespeople and dealerships, but I feel like it’s a situation you really have to go through a few times before you’re comfortable with it. But it is also an experience you don’t really want to practice because that implies that you’re constantly buying new cars.

Be Nice to Someone

Again, I think I could have done better in this area. I did tell one of the security guards at work that I liked his sweater. And I complimented someone’s dishes. I think it’s best to make an effort to do something nice for at least one person every day, so I need to be more intentional about it.

So, that’s this week in review. It looks like I have some work to do; really only succeeded in two out of five of the karate moves for success.  Hopefully this information isn’t completely dull and useless. I felt like it might be interesting to start keeping tabs on my own self-improvement and to share that progress with you. We’ll see how it goes and whether or not the Johnny Karate path is the best framework to use.

Thanks for reading. Did you achieve any epic karate moves this week?

In a podcast I was listening to recently, the guest was asked about the Dvorak keyboard and why he thought it was the only way to type (he’s a programmer). I have researched the Dvorak vs Qwerty layout in the past, but at the time, most recommendations were for getting an entirely new keyboard, and I didn’t go any further with it. Now, (I’m sure it’s been this way for a while) you can change some simple settings and use your current keyboard; you just can’t look down at the keys when you’re lost. But then I started thinking about whether or not it was worth the switch. Is my typing speed really what’s holding me back as a writer?

Of course not. At least, I’m pretty sure it isn’t. I don’t type super fast, somewhere in the 80 wpm range when I’m just transcribing something, but that slows down quite a bit when I’m writing on the fly. I don’t think my typing speed is slower than my thinking speed. I compose at a slower rate, in part because I’m typically editing as I write. And even if it were my typing slowing me down, is that really what gets in the way of how much I write? Or how good my writing is?

Any time I start to think along those lines, I find myself considering Thomas Jefferson or Charles Dickens, or some other prolific writer of the past who was working with a quill or another “crude” writing instrument. I don’t really know that a new keyboard layout is what is going to help me accomplish my goals as a writer. I’m still always on the lookout though. And it’s that way in much of my life. When exploring meditation, I’m trying to find the best app for it. Or the best shoes for running. But the masters of those disciplines didn’t achieve what they did because they had the fanciest or most efficient tools. They got to the peak because they kept climbing.

It reminds me of someone I know who had an idea for adapting a great learning system he had created for himself. He had gone through this extensive process of note taking and organization in folders and binders. He said it was instrumental to his learning experience, and he wanted to create something similar, or even an electronic product for other people to use. He was explaining this to me and a mutual friend when the friend asked, “Do you think the process of creating that system, of figuring out how all that information went together, is what made it so effective for you?” Often the shortcut will get us to the same place, but we won’t be the same person when we get there. It’s the experience, the challenges along the way that shape who we are, as writers and as people.

This is something I struggle with. I’m big on efficiency and not repeating actions that don’t need to be repeated. That can be an advantage with something like programming or work that doesn’t necessarily require a lot of thought. Sometimes, though, going through the motions is exactly what we need to do. Because it allows us to build muscle memory. The motions ultimately lead to a break through or a creative expression that we wouldn’t have found on another path. And often, I spend more time thinking about the best way to do something than I do actually doing it. Sometimes the thinking pays off; sometimes the time would have been better spent doing.

Really, this can be distilled into an argument about efficient vs effective. It’s a topic lots of other people have talked about, and I hope to dive into some of that discussion soon. For now, I think we can all agree that being a faster typist won’t make me a better writer. But, honestly, I’m probably going to try it anyway. And I’ll get back to you about it.

In what areas do you try to find the latest tool or technology to help you achieve your goals? Do they help, or are they just more baggage? Leave a comment below, and we’ll discuss.